MoS? What’s a MoS?

July 17, 2011

I’m so incredibly rude.

I left my whole <10 readers without so much as a goodbye. And it’s been months. Some probably shook their head and wrote it off as the inevitable  internet blog writer disappearance. Some might have even noticed I was gone! Some might have even missed me. Aww, shucks.

Regardless of how you felt/reacted, I do apologize for the sudden up and ago. I can imagine the questions this caused.

“Did she get eaten by wild Australian EVIL CRAZY PREDATORY ANIMALS?!”

“Did she die heroically saving no less than a hundred orphans from a burning building during an earthquake and/or evil genius plot?”

“Where is she? How can she do this? -remove from RSS feed-”

“Can it be…z-z-zombies?”

“Musicofshadows who?”

All are valid questions. Simple answer is, I got busy and blogging became a chore. Rather than submitting to the vicious cycle I simply dropped it all. I didn’t log in, I stopped checking other blogs (a mistake, I’ve missed so much awesome content), and forgot. Of course I didn’t fully forget, and was even tempted to log on and post occasionally or at least post saying “hey, taking some time off”. But I didn’t. Oops.

I’m not sure if I’m back, I am feeling drawn in again though. We’ll see. Keep your eyes peeled, but not too closely. No fanfare dramatic re-entry just yet, I’m afraid. But maybe.

Maybe it’s time for a return.

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Chocolate ninjas, bars of soap and dancing like a chicken

April 9, 2011

It hasn’t been a particularly interesting week this week. Granted, I managed to hurt my neck opening a bar of soap and jam only the very tip of my finger in the front door whilst attempting to open it carrying 10 bags of shopping in, but these are less interesting and more… downright silly. Don’t ask how either happened, especially the first.

Other things of note:

I told Miss Amazing that she should think she’s attractive (she is), but “maybe like, not fully believe it just to stop you from ever like, becoming 10000kg blob like.” Why yes, I have a way with women.

I declared myself a chocolate ninja. This actually sounds suspiciously dirty, which wasn’t my intention (for once). What I meant is, when chocolate is around I can manage to eat a lot of it before anyone notices. Also, if someone attempts to steal chocolate off me, I use my superior skills to get it back.

The ninja intercept (click to enlarge)

I also scored a heap of free stuff at a Careers Fair. Everyone loves free stuff even if it’s useless and/or branded heavily with corporate logos. Here’s a sample of some things I got.

  • A beer cooler
  • A small thermos-like-yet-more-plasticy coffee holder
  • A level tool that doubles as a screwdriver AND a flashlight and looks like an oversized pen, but isn’t one.
  • Pens. Some with cool things attached, some interesting, most not.
  • Candy. Most of which I ate while I was there.
  • Stress balls in the form of a gold bar, and one in the shape of a cube.

There was more, but it’s not particularly interesting. I love how the stands with the most free stuff are more popular. Oh, and the highlight of the lot? I got a t-shirt. They weren’t just handing them out though. There was a small sign at the stand. “Dance for a shirt.” (ooo, dirty. No.)So, I did. Those poor people got graced with my interpretation of the chicken dance. But hey, we all do crazy things for free stuff right? What’s the craziest thing you’ve done for free stuff?

Well, I suppose it was a pretty good week after all.


Spam Comments: What type are yours?

March 29, 2011

I’ve been meaning to do a post about spam, (I was about to make a ‘not the canned variety’ joke but it kinda is so I won’t) as a lot of it amuses me greatly. Granted, that’s not particularly hard to do but as anyone who has a blog allowing comments knows, spam happens.

There are approximately 4 types that I’d like to touch on. There’s more, but these make up the bulk of the automated comments that slip through the cracks (not a lot do, which is impressive). I realize this is largely stating the obvious but some people are unaware, and the rest of you can just nod silently, or loudly, or whatever it is you want to do. Not entirely sure how to nod loudly, but it’s entirely up to you! I’d list these in some sort of order, but it’s a lot more fun to list randomly.

TYPE A: The Sneaky

These are so crafty, they almost pass as legitimate comments. Almost, but I’m sometimes deeply suspicious of comments praising my work. (Yes, you should praise it but I do occasionally deflate my ego and boggle. It might be rare, but it happens.) Sometimes, they even relate slightly to the post content. Aha! Look at the suspicious site they’ve listed as their website and/or email! I’m onto you, crafty buggers. I’ll admit, if I’m feeling particularly needy, I’ll remove the email address and site and let it through. It’s nice to pretend to have more readers, you know?

Example: “Your post is very informative and helpful. This is a real issue. I have written much on this topic, you do good job”

TYPE B: The Crazy

These ones well… they’re hard to define other than wtf comments. Usually glaringly out of place in regards to the post they’re commenting on. There’s one in my spam queue right now.

Example: “japan is in a crisis right now”

Example: “oh yea hazelnut”

Example: “What is your day?”

The first one isn’t crazy in and of itself, but it’s location on a post I made about lizards weeks ago is. A thing to note though, this comments may genuinely be your readers messing with you. This type I’m tempted to let through as well, just for how out of place they are.

TYPE C: The Babbler

Random words put together in hope it’ll look like sentences. It’s actually quite fun to make some of these up myself. You should give it a try.

Good example: “And woman she went door cat, random stalled at and a touch banana wenaever.”

Bad example: “The lady went outside cat bird fish cucumber.”

Real example: “Later of they was even the empty designer, and even of he wrapped her second handbag to approach its to call luxury replica. It buzzed many of replica tamed tightly wiped sure wrist as watches into lou when sl*t stuffed you, all each many”

In the good example, we see no sentence structure whatsoever, random words and misspellings. These are the signs of a good type C spam comment. The second example ends well, but makes sense initially so it’s not acceptable. The third is a real comment that continued on for 4 large paragraphs after that snippet. Sheesh.

TYPE D: The Phisherman

These are your most obvious spam. Most spam filters do a good job of catching these nowadays but an occasional one surfaces every now and then. Often just a phishing link, they may add poorly spelled words as well. Or reference Viagra. Cheap. Hmm..

Example: “try it now <phishinglink>”


That about wraps it up, if you’ve got any novel spam comments to share please do so, there’s some truly hilarious ones out there and I’d love to hear them. Ever get tempted to let a few choice comments through? I forgot to save a lot of mine and by the time I got around to writing this up they’d all disappeared. Lucky I made fancy animations right?


That Flipping Picture!

March 28, 2011

Since I haven’t written anything of substance (which isn’t unusual for my blog), I’m posting random drawings I did at some point.

“Because when you don’t know what to post, post random.”

a rain cloud drawingA rain cloud. Cute, but uninteresting

 

BUT WAIT!

 

an upside down rain cloud turned into a parachuteTurn it upside down, and you get a bunch of little men parachuting.

 

Back to regular programming soon. Even though I do enjoy being “creative” in Paint.


Arbitrary Australian Stuff: Where, How, Huh?

March 17, 2011

In somewhat of a preamble, or introductory post to a series of posts I (hope) to do about Australian accents, I thought I’d start with some general tidbits.

First, a quick geography and history lesson for those…how do I put this…less inclined to look outside their corner of the globe. And for everyone else too. Australia is that oddly shaped lump plus island down south somewhere. USA (minus Alaska) is, well, you all know where it is. I include Britain largely because they’re included in our history. Basically, Australia did have indigenous people (Aboriginals) here already, but Britain decided to claim it for themselves. So, with a new bunch of land only a ship’s journey away, what better do with it than turn it into a penal colony. If you’ve heard us called convicts it’s not due to our crime rate but due to the fact majority of our original (non-indigenous) population were indeed criminals. Though those days stealing a loaf of bread was enough crime to be shipped halfway across the world.

world map australia britain america

Fascinating (Click to enlarge)

I won’t bore you with the rest of the history but people explored, the population grew, immigration started, etc etc and here we are. If only all history classes went like that. Onto some more geography, if you take a look you’ll notice that USA (minus Alaska and I guess Hawaii) actually looks a similar size to Australia. That’s because it they’re almost exactly the same size. That’s right, you guys have ~48 states in the same space we have 8. (technically 2 are ‘territories’ but they are basically the same thing) Your population is probably about 14 times as large as ours. (check out all these figures, I feel so official)

Now, I’m not trying to compare us too much, Australia and America are very different despite both being English speaking countries. Both have their ups and downs, and even though Australians probably know more about Americans than Americans know about Australians, I still wouldn’t claim to be any sort of expert.

What does all this have to do with Australian accents? Well, honestly, not much. The main thing is I wanted to highlight the Australia and British connection (we’re also a part of the Commonwealth see:the Queen) so those of you Americans (*cough* Cotton *cough*) who have tried to speak in an Australian accent and sound woefully British don’t feel too bad. It’s hard to understand, but to us, English people sound very different, but a lot of you seem to not notice that difference. It may be a sort of dialect thing, or something else, I have no idea. Any suggestions why feel free to let me know in the comments.

Australian flag face paint

Don’t stick figures look fabulous with flags for faces?

I’ll leave you with a few tidbits of Australian slang (those online dictionaries of slang are a bit hit and miss you see). You may have heard some of these before, but it’s a start right?

‘Arvo’: Afternoon. (“I’m going for a drive this arvo.”) Generally not used entirely in place of the word afternoon, more when you would say “this afteroon”

‘Maccas’: McDonalds. (“I had Maccas for breakfast this morning.”)

‘Servo’: Service Station (Gas station) (“I need fuel, we’d better go to the servo on the way home.”)


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Creature Chronicles: Lively Lizard Vol I

March 12, 2011

There I was, just relaxing in bed, writing on my laptop. Alone in my room, door closed. Nothing unusual about it. This is the stage you become almost completely unaware of your surroundings…

All of a sudden, I notice a flash of movement out of the corner of my eye.

The first time I dismissed it completely. Eyes play tricks on you, electricity surges, there’s logical explanations. Of course, I promptly forgot about it. Later, I’m watching a movie in bed and completely absorbed in the plot (I can’t remember the movie but it must have been ok). Almost on cue with a music surge in the score, I see it again. That dark blur of movement that is gone before you can look closer. The second time it’s a little harder to dismiss. I began to wonder exactly what it was…

monster in the dark cartoon

Something nefarious no doubt…

Wondering didn’t last too long, but I did have to rewind my movie a bit. In cases like these my imagination is a bad thing. But I resumed watching my movie, and I completely forgot about it once more. Until… THERE IT WAS AGAIN. This time, I knew there was definitely something odd going on. But this time, the mysterious thing had been moving slightly slower as it darted across the corner of my vision. I managed to catch a quick glance. Much to my relief, it wasn’t an enormous spider, like I had initially feared, or anything supernatural (or at least I hoped.)

So what exactly was it?

dinosaur trex cartoon
Not quite. (Gosh I draw such amazing dinosaurs)

All I know is it’s a lizard. I tried in vain to capture it on film to show you the sneaky little bugger, and to get a better idea of what he looked like. But he’s always too quick, and disappears faster than free parking spots near work/school/anywhereyouhavetobe . A mystery indeed! This is honestly the best picture I could get. And even then it looks like one of those fake bigfoot pictures, or the ones paparazzi take of celebrities from 50 miles away. Just as I was about to publish this I captured a slightly clearer picture (you think this one looks bad, take a look at this)
mystery lizard photo australia

Blurred and with bad lighting, but he’s there alright

As soon as I get close, he disappears out the door or behind my desk. And if I open the door or peer behind the desk? He’s vanished into thin air and won’t be spotted until his next dash across the room. No joke, there is nowhere he can go but somehow he VANISHES. Want to see him? Too bad, he appears on his terms and his terms only. Elusive. Invisible. Speedy. I’ll take name suggestions. So far I’ve come up with ‘Gonzales’ and ‘Mysterylizard’, though I also call him by other more explicit names.

This lizard continues to taunt me, he even ran across while I was writing this post. I haven’t seen him in a week and he shows up while I’m writing about him, just to make his point. Lucky he’s harmless… I hope.

Mystery lizard, wanted


An egg-xcellent victory

January 7, 2011

Today on Cooking with MoS, I intend to tell the tale of egg-breadroll-baconthings. I don’t actually have a name for them, since it’s not my recipe or idea. They are just yum. Feel free to suggest a suitable name. I’m still not sure why I add posts about cooking but I usually act like an idiot in the kitchen. This behaviour isn’t limited to the kitchen, it just showcases there occasionally. Which makes better post fodder.

I give credit where credit is due for this recipe, but I couldn’t find a suitable word for the person who’s ingenious idea this was. We’ll just call her ‘Ms Awesome’. This may get confusing as I am Chef Awesome as well, so perhaps we’ll go with something different. ‘Ms Amazing’? It’ll do.

Since I don’t have a suitable name for this, you can figure out what’s going on as I tell you about it. I know, egg-breadroll-baconthings does describe it a little, but I still need an air of mystery and suspense otherwise you’ll quit reading now. If you already hadn’t.

First thing you’ll need is some eggs. Chicken eggs are usually the best bet, then possibly other fowl. Lizard eggs may be a little hard to come by, and snakes eggs could be more trouble than they are worth. I won’t even get into using the nearest female’s eggs as I’m sure mentioning human organ harvesting may draw in the wrong crowd as search terms. Lucky it’s not too crowded with readers in here so this may be a good thing. Maybe. Right, so you have your chicken eggs. I’m going to assume you used chicken eggs, regardless. You’ll need… a few. Buy the 18 pack just to be sure. Or keep stockpiling your hens eggs for as long as it takes to aquire them. You don’t need 18 to be honest, but it never hurts to have extra. Plus, buy in bulk and save, right? Right.

This is a few too many eggs. A lot of eggs

A task force of 138 hens worked day and night to produce these fine eggs. Egg-cessive?

Now you want to beat your eggs. I’ll pause for innuendo here… and we’re back. Seriously don’t need a beater, just break them in the bowl… well don’t break them -in- the bowl since I assume you aren’t supposed to eat the shells and I’m not researching that to find out. You may get all fancy and break them and empty the egg into the bowl in one movement with one hand if you are capable. If you aren’t, you might as well try anyway. You’ll usually figure out of you have this talent fairly quickly. (Hint, if it takes you longer than 20 seconds and you still get shell in the bowl just use both hands.) I myself smash the egg against the bench. I also often forget that I just need to crack the shell and not the entire egg so have a cloth nearby as you may end up being too strong for your own good. I’m just too powerful for those. I don’t need weak eggs in my breakfast anyway! Stir/mix the eggs.

Strong eggs are better

Only the strongest eggs make it

Heat the pan. Add some oil. If oil is not available, bacon grease is a good alternative. Oh, if you are using bacon grease this is the step you make some bacon grease by either microwaving or frying up some bacon. If you aren’t, you’ll still need to do this anyway so just get it over and done with. Or do it later. No pressure.

As the pan is warming up and the bacon is cooking (or not cooking), you need to get your mini breadrolls and slice them neatly in half. Messily in half is usually how it turns out, but why would I tell you to slice them messily? Then, you dip the halves in the egg mixture and put them on the frying pan. By dip, I do mean soak/dip. Use your imagination. Flip when one side is cooked(ish).

If there are any insects flying around in the kitchen, designate yourself as the CHAMPION FLY KILLER and arm yourself. As I was handed a teatowel/washcloth and told to ‘get rid of that damn fly’, this instantly became my weapon. Utilize your surroundings. Know how to wield and use your weapon against the target. In my case, I flicked it as one would with a wet towel from halfway across the room. Its cunning/ignorant flight pattern caused my teatowel to hit the air immediately below it. A miss? No. This created a temporary vacuum, and as my teatowel retreated back to my hand, air rushed to fill the space. The air the fly was flying in. Cue downward spiral into the abyss (or behind the vaccuum cleaner.) Aha, round one to MoS.

Keep an eye on the cooking though. Or two usually works better. Until… a movement was spotted. THE FLY WAS BACK FOR MORE?! Oh here we go. This shit just got real. The fly then made the mistake of  landing. Tsk tsk. I stealthily crept forward, mindful of my shadow and movements so as not to alert the fly. Aaand… WHAM. One squashed fly and one Ms Amazing scared more than she ever would have been by that fly. She turned around to see what the commotion was about and I, in one dramatic move, uncovered the teatowel to reveal… the squashed fly.

Squashed fly on a teatowel

DIE INSECT DIE

Serve with bacon on top/between two halves. Mmm-mmm. Oh, that’s serve the breadroll-egg things with bacon, not the fly. Protein or not, the breadrolls taste better. Probably.

The finished product- eggs and bread cooked

I included a knife in this picture so it’d look more badass

They look better in real life, and also when someone other than me makes them. I even had supervisioncompany. As long as it tastes good, right? My knife (that I found in the kitchen) tells me I’m a good cook (it says it on the blade, I think it’s the brand but still might be etched there just for me), so that makes it true because you wouldn’t want to disagree with my knife, would you? Didn’t think so. Now that you’re feeling sufficiently threatened, go make some. Or don’t. More for me.