Another post about cooking! You’d think I live in the kitchen. I don’t. So stop it. That’s just silly.
This episode, I’ll be sharing the secrets of getting the best from fried sliced potatoes! Simply fascinating! Yep. Absolutely. Bet you’re glued to your seats now, eagerly pouring over my every word. (You wouldn’t need glue if you had a seat belt.)
I had to cook dinner. Again. I seriously wonder how no one in this house has figured out that I probably should not be cooking. At all. Keep me away from utensils or risk spontaneous combustion. Ok, it’s not really that bad. It gets me out of cooking duties.
MoS’s Kitchen Tip #2: Feigning incompetence in the kitchen can get you out of cooking if done right.
Selecting FAR too many potatoes to peel was an issue. I slightly underestimated this entire process so figured more is better. No, it’s not. Sliced up the potatoes using a fancy plastic/razor contraption that could probably be repainted to a less friendly colour than white and be used in a Saw movie. Put the steaks on. (Did I mention these before now? No. Oops. Lucky this isn’t attempting to be a recipe or something.) Now, I get bored while cooking. Extremely bored. So bored in fact…
I began singing the fried potato music.
Never heard it? That’s because I made it up as I went along. DuuunDunDunDuuuunDanananaDuuunn. DADADADAAAAA!
They were some rockin’ potatoes.
While the potatoes are cooking, you may want to keep an eye on the steaks. But you can also participate in any of the following activities:
- Watching the oil under the potatoes bubble and daydreaming about making it into a movie about alien larvae
- Wondering if you could somehow make it about zombies instead of aliens
- Spontaneous and random outbursts of more theme music. Doesn’t even need words just notes. -Epic-.
- Make the following shocking pun about the bread and the potatoes sitting close to each other on the bench. “They’re like brothers in carbs.” Don’t even ask.
- Making any number of terrible puns and/or jokes about anything/everything going on around you.
- Shooing anyone else out of the kitchen because it is ‘your space’ and you are cooking and they are ruining it.
- Elaborately placing food items in a decorative manner on each plate. Then wonder if you should have made them look like faces.
Any and all of these are fine. Well, not fine as such but I didn’t really mean it in the mentally sound way.
And, the potatoes cooked fantastically and it’s all because they were provided with theme music for encouragement. Seriously, try it sometime. Maybe wait until nobody is home rather than my option of while people were in fact, nearby. I save the home alone cooking time for other misadventures and silliness. For a good reason too. Let me know how your theme music goes, I’d love to hear or read textual interpretations of how your cooking music turns out. And the reactions of others. But that’s less important.